I love the grocery store. If I was 12, I would say I want to marry the grocery store, and have its babies. It is my Happy Place, with aisles and aisles of inspiration and dinner permutations. However, my relationship with the market is not without faults. There are areas in which we don't mesh well. But honesty is important in a partnership, so for this week's edition of Siriously? I'm Serious, I shall reveal to you my Grocery Store Confessions...
There is a conspiracy against me and it is that I always get stuck with a lemon cart. The alignment will be off, the wheels will stick or rattle and sometimes just stop moving. I am convinced that the person or force behind this conspiracy has a nice chuckle as they watch me struggle with all of my might to smoothly push a cart through the store. It drives me crazy, and that is why you will sometimes see me holding a basket with 92 items in it. I'd rather break my arm than suffer from cart rage.
It seems that I go to the store when everyone on the planet has decided to go to. That's fine, I don't mind maneuvering through the crowds because it makes me feel like I'm in a video game. However, when it's my turn to checkout, I start to feel the pressure of the line behind me. And when the employee hands me my cash, change and receipt, in that order, all at once, a panic attack is triggered. How am I supposed to put that away quickly and efficiently? It's not possible. And the next customer inevitably starts to inch closer and closer to you while you're trying to get your purse situated which is just so rude and uncomfortable. Although I might be guilty of doing that too when I'm behind an old lady who's trying to redeem a coupon from 1983.
Once, I was standing in the cereal aisle, aimlessly staring at the selection, trying to decide between a box of cardboard flakes and a box of processed marshmallows, when I noticed a woman doing the same thing. She said out loud, I'm trying to decide on cereal. Excited to have made a friend in the cereal aisle, I said energetically, me too, why is this so hard?! She looked at me strangely and then she said, is that Ethan I hear in the background? I said nothing, I thought I was talking to a crazy person. Until I noticed the bluetooth in her ear. Which was when I realized she was never talking to me. Which was when I scurried to the next aisle without cereal.
*Now, do you have any Grocery Store Confessions you would like to get off your chest?