Dear Shutters on the Beach,
You and I have a problem. I will explain...
You are a lovely establishment. I mean, look at the above photo. You sit on Santa Monica sand in Southern California, staring out at the Pacific Ocean all day long. How could you be anything less than charming?
My family and I came to visit you this weekend. More specifically, we came to eat at your Coast Restaurant to celebrate a 29th wedding anniversary. We sat at a beautiful table, and were served with warmth and efficiency. There was alcohol, bottles of wine, and lots of food. (A polite way of saying we gave you a lot of our money.)
The food was pretty good, but not excellent. Is this my problem with you? No, because the view and the ambience made up for the moderate-to-good food. My problem came at desert time. I brought a coconut cake, you see, for the grandparent's anniversary. When it came time to eat this cake, you explained your homemade dessert policy...
A $4.50 fee per piece of cake sliced.
WHAT?! WHAT?! Hold on a sec, let me calm down.
You see Shutters Coast Restaurant, if you would have told me that you charge a cake slicing fee, I would have understood. I get that. It's extra work for you. Understood. But for you to basically charge me to eat my own cake is ABSURD. PREPOSTEROUS. LAUGHABLE!! WRONG!!!! Yeah I can't calm down, it's SO WRONG AND IDIOTIC AND RUDE. We spent enough money on your stupid food so that you can pay your stupid rent for your stupid view. Just let us eat our own dessert that I slaved over. Next time we come I'm going to bring a GIANT cake and pass it around the table so that we can eat it with our hands like animals in a barn. That will show you!
But sadly, there will probably not be a next time Shutters. You have wronged me.