Dear Skippy Natural Creamy Peanut Butter,
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. When I cannot find you on the shelves, I feel so blue, so blue... and terribly angry... full of irrational rage. Mostly because, staring at my face is JIF Natural Creamy Peanut Butter. How DARE you stare at my face, JIF!! You try and FAIL to come CLOSE to my Skippy. Go away, go away and stare at someone else's face!!!!!! I HATE you and your ASS jar!!
I'm okay now.