Once Upon A Time The Other Day... I was at the market. I go there often. Not "everyday often" - but sometimes everyday often. Look, you try shopping with a toddler and remembering EVERYTHING on your list!! By the end of the trip I'm usually all, here's a balloon, please stop screaming. So, the other day I was at the market, in the check-out lane, trying to keep Jack from licking a pack of batteries, when I felt a tap on the shoulder.
Man: Excuse me? Ms. Pinter?
Me: Yes? (ohmygodheknowsmyname)
Man: I am the manager here...
Me: (ohmygod, I'm being arrested, I ate that grape...)
Man: ...and you are a frequent customer...
Me: (ohmygod, they're getting a restraining order...)
Man: ...and we really appreciate your business, and would like to give you this Elite Customer Card.
Man: So here you go.
Man: Thank you!
Me: (BRIGHT RED)
(Are you enjoying my 6am bloated, wobbly face?)
Did you know ANY of this was possible? That Elite Customer Cards existed?!? That your MANAGER might consider you a famous grocery store shopper?!? I am equal parts embarrassed, horrified, and ecstatic. Let me tell you a little about this card, and by "tell you" I mean brag...
-I have 24-hour party ordering service. Who is up for a 3am crudités party?!?
-I can call a "Wine Steward" at any hour of the day. I think I might call every single morning and ask what pairs well with different kinds of cereal... see how long it takes before they take my child away.
-Refunds without receipts. I'm going to bring in an impulse shoe purchase and see if they'll exchange it.
-Guaranteed in-stock or equivalent substitution. I can't wait to ask someone for Pocky Sticks. If they bring me THESE instead I'll be so mad.
*Sarcasm aside, thank you Pavilions. Most days are not complete without you.