Siriously? I'm Serious: This Happened


Once Upon A Time The Other Day... I was at the market. I go there often. Not "everyday often" - but sometimes everyday often. Look, you try shopping with a toddler and remembering EVERYTHING on your list!! By the end of the trip I'm usually all, here's a balloon, please stop screaming. So, the other day I was at the market, in the check-out lane, trying to keep Jack from licking a pack of batteries, when I felt a tap on the shoulder.

Man: Excuse me? Ms. Pinter?
Me: Yes? (ohmygodheknowsmyname)
Man: I am the manager here...
Me: (ohmygod, I'm being arrested, I ate that grape...)
Man: ...and you are a frequent customer...
Me: (ohmygod, they're getting a restraining order...)
Man: ...and we really appreciate your business, and would like to give you this Elite Customer Card.
Man: So here you go.
Man: Thank you!

(Are you enjoying my 6am bloated, wobbly face?)

Did you know ANY of this was possible? That Elite Customer Cards existed?!? That your MANAGER might consider you a famous grocery store shopper?!? I am equal parts embarrassed, horrified, and ecstatic. Let me tell you a little about this card, and by "tell you" I mean brag...

-I have 24-hour party ordering service. Who is up for a 3am crudités party?!?

-I can call a "Wine Steward" at any hour of the day. I think I might call every single morning and ask what pairs well with different kinds of cereal... see how long it takes before they take my child away.

-Refunds without receipts. I'm going to bring in an impulse shoe purchase and see if they'll exchange it.

-Guaranteed in-stock or equivalent substitution. I can't wait to ask someone for Pocky Sticks. If they bring me THESE instead I'll be so mad.

*Sarcasm aside, thank you Pavilions. Most days are not complete without you.


Making Peace With Potato Chips said...

Hilarious Siri - what wines, by the way go with cereal, I'd like to know.........:)

Teresa said...

Suri, I am also an almost everyday (totally everyday) shopper at Pavilions...imagine my shock, disappointment and anger when my HUSBAND came home with the VIP card given to HIM by the manager!! He only goes to the store on his was home from work if I am in desperate need of night night diapers, milk, toilet paper or wine and HE has the manager run after HIM to offer him VIP services! I am disgusted!!! My husband was thoroughly amused...

Amanda Jane said...

I'm a horrible commenter thanks to Google reader, but this one deserved the click over. The cereal line was hilarious.

Bentlyblue said...

Too funny,I received the same card from our local market here in Alberta, Canada. They store managers must be on a gifting spree!

Being Ingrid said...

Best story. Ever.

Kelli said...

Siri! I randomly came across your blog recently. I found this post hilarious! I too shop at this Pavilions but no VIP card...yet...
I worked for D. Friedman for a very short period of time years ago. Referral through Ari.
Anyway, good to see you are doing well & happy cooking!

Hannah said...

But what happened to your hair?


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