(image) Has anyone seen that Sex and the City episode where Miranda starts choking, alone in her apartment with her cat, and has to thrust her abdomen into the counter to save her own life? Yeah, that's my biggest fear. I eat a lot of food, which means I chew a lot of food, and that leads to swallowing... so I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet (just banged my fists on a block of wood).
My OTHER biggest fear is that someone will choke in front of me, and it will be my responsibility to save their life. Has it happened to you? Are you ready for it? Before Jack was born, actually the very day my water broke, Carson and I took a First Aid class. Do I remember everything? I think it's 5 abdominal thrusts and then, the CPR... I know you're supposed to time your thrusts with the song "Stayin' Alive," ironically. I know it's 2 breaths, and then 30 compressions. Or 15? Dear god. Do you call 911 first, or after a few attempts?
I bring all of this up because, last night Jack choked on a piece of steak. It never reached the Heimlich or CPR, THANK GOD (otherwise I'd be wearing a straight jacket this morning), but it was still a horrifying moment. He wasn't making any noise, and his face was turning red, panic overtaking his expressions. I stood up, I asked what we should do, I got behind him, ready to pick him up and try something. I couldn't breath. But Carson, he remained calm, and he stuck his finger down Jack's throat and dug the steak up (which, btw, you're NOT supposed to do, it just happened to work out in this situation). He saved Jack's life, on Father's Day no less. What did I do to deserve him?
Look, I'm sorry for the mega-dramatic-and-terrifying Monday morning post, but I needed to write this all down so I can reflect, and move on. It reminds me of a wonderful blog post I read once, called Too Much. If you're a parent, or a human being who loves someone, you should read it.
And now, take a breath, keep your eyes open, trust your instincts, and quit worrying. (I'm talking to myself.)