Dear Katsuya in Brentwood,
Shame on you. Don't you know that I could have chosen anywhere in the world for my 29th birthday dinner? (The "world" defined here as "somewhere on the west side of Los Angeles.") I chose YOU, Katsuya, YOU. For your Crispy Rice and Spicy Tuna. For your Lychee Martini and your Miso-marinated Cod. For your Rock Shrimp Tempura and your Yellowtail with Jalapeno. FOR YOUR BAKED CRAB HAND ROLL!
I am yelling because I was disappointed by almost all of that. And you should know, I am not one to complain. I'm the type of customer that sees a hair in her food and thinks, I'm sure it's clean, it's fine, I'll eat it.
Where do I begin? The Lychee Martini... incredibly tart! It's usually sweet but mellow, and this time I felt like I was sucking on a lemon. The Crispy Rice with Spicy Tuna tasted like it had been sitting under a warmer for an hour. This was just too much for us to handle, and we sent it back. Our new order was hot, but that's about it. What's wonderful about that dish is the contrast between crispy, buttery rice and smooth, spicy tuna. There was no such contrast, just a hot taste of nothing in my mouth. The Miso-marinated Cod... um, you know when the chef decorates the plate with tiny dots and drizzles? That was where the miso flavor was, NOT in the cod. The cod tasted like cooked fish, blah. I'm getting upset... but sadly I'm not done. The Baked Crab Hand Roll!!!! It was barely warm. Oh and that should be warm and luscious and creamy and divine! And it was not.
I won't complain about the Yellowtail or the Rock Shrimp. Those were good, just not good enough to erase a night of bad memories.
The thing is, I don't want to be mad at you. Our waiter was excellent. The manager came over to check on us when we sent back our Crispy Rice. You're not bad people, you were just bad fish that night. Almost as if you'd checked out early, but did I mention our reservation was at 6:30pm? Unacceptable. Nooo, not unacceptable that we eat that early, we're parents! Unacceptable that at that early evening hour, when only parents and bat mitzvah parties eat, your food was already stale. No good Katsuya, no good.
Siriously (not) Delicious