siriously delicious: FML (Also Pork Schnitzel)

Isn't that something the kids are saying these days? Well. I have a story for you...

Once upon a time (last night), I made Pork Schnitzel. Because Tyler Florence once told me to, I always brine pork before I do anything to it. Keeps it juicy. Even if I only have 30 minutes to brine, I drench the pork in 4 cups of water, 1/4 cup of salt, 1/4 cup of sugar and some thyme sprigs.

Last night, as I went to grab my brined pork from the fridge, I somehow managed to spill 4 cups of watery raw pork juice. Everywhere. Have you ever seen me have a meltdown? It's not something to put on your to-do list. Carson said it looked like I was having a brain aneurysm. But you don't understand. I'm talking about 4 tiers of shelving and 2 drawers, flooded with contaminated liquid. 4 cups of water isn't that much, you proclaim?!? That's what I thought. The water gave birth to more water as it oozed its way around my refrigerator. Took me almost an hour to clean up. At least it gave me a chance to realize we had 29 of the same salsas.

Also, have you ever made a large batch of fresh pear puree for your baby? Homemade meatballs for him to eat? A batch of red pepper and goat cheese soup?? And a whole f'ing tupperware full of tiny, little pasta?? I have made all of these things, and they were sitting RIGHT NEXT TO THE PORK WATER meaning, they got the brunt of it all. Threw it all out. Maybe I didn't need to. Maybe they were okay. But you don't want to rely on MAYBE when you're talking about trichinellosis . (Just click on the link, I don't know what I'm talking about.)

OKAY THEN! On to my Pork Schnitzel. I didn't take many pictures due to the fact that I was drinking heavily. Because Tyler Florence has always steered me well with pork, I used his recipe. Things I did differently: used egg whites, no milk and panko.

Pork Schnitzel

4 boneless pork loin chops
1 1/2 cups flour
3 egg whites
4 panko
2 T olive oil
2 T butter
Salt and pepper
Few sprigs of thyme
Lemon wedges

Pound your meat. I put mine in a large plastic bag, on top of a plastic cutting board. (No way was I going to risk any further contamination.) I used my meat pounder/tenderizer but if you don't have one, use a hammer. Let me tell you, it felt good to murder this meat.

Put flour, egg whites and panko in 3 separate bowls or plates. Season each with salt and pepper, and set up a station near your stovetop.

(I can't rotate that picture, FML.) In large skillet, heat oil, butter and thyme over medium heat. Let thyme leaves fry slightly and then remove, save for later.

Take pounded pork and coat in flour, egg whites and then panko. Place in skillet. Repeat with 2nd pork chop (I did two at once). Pan-fry for approx. 3 minutes on each side.